Work anger

I am normally a great person to work with, aside from my prankster nature of cos. I dun go about screaming at people or even raising my voice.

However I think I could no longer just keep being nice to everyone. Its beginning to seems like I am a softie. Someone whom can be pushed around with. I get email and calls from contractors to clients and I am always friendly. They can voice out their problems and I would go as far as solving it for them.

Perhaps its time to draw this line. For time and time again, their "problem" appears no more that they aint keen to work on it, and rather have me do it.

And the best part is, the credit is "shared" while the fault becomes my doing. (I guess this is kinda familiar to us all)

Well I have given up on being nice to everyone. Its time to be a FAIR person. Time to award some screaming to bums and idiots. This would give me back my sanity and of course release some steam.

I wont care if you are twice my age or that you hold a rank 3 times above mine. I would probably give you a heart attack cause perhaps you deserve to move on.

Watch out world. I am going to be screaming at you all.

Aviation Tables

If I have the money, I guess I would love to have this as my table.

It would defintely be one reason I would keep me working.

But well reality tends to smack you in the face. My future home is doomed to be small and confine. Nevertheless, you could always look for inspiration with the Japs designed ideas.



I bet this would keep my kids working hard

(Click on the pics for the links)

Happy Easter in advance

I wont be ard this Easter. The first time for me not to attend the easter season.

So well Heres a early wishes for all

Health is important

Just last week, a close buddy of my told me that he has high cholesterol. He is my age, plump and a big smoker.

This made me think, we are just started into our 30s. Still in the prime of our lives and the health issues have begun to creep in. And guess what this is an indication of more serious issues to come. He may be diabetic and may also have heart problems. (I aint wanting to curse him)

I spoke with another close friend today whom also has high cholesterol. His situation is under control now and is able to cut down on his medication. He remarked that I shouldnt be too surprised, that could be lots more whom has high cholesterol. He only found out his after a routine health check.

This is indeed true. My buddy found out his after a blood test was carried out and that was done becos of a separate health issue. Needless to say, I too may have high cholesterol. I just dont know yet.

I indulge in plenty of rich food. I laughed at thought of salad when I could fill the starter with a lovely piece of meat. I love burgers and love steak even more. And I have not carried out a check on my health for the last 4 years. Its time I do something about it.

With an active lifestyle of running and workout, my excuse to myself is that I do burn of what I eat. I shouldnt be too concern right. After all, I am not one of those who sit at his desk all day and go home to eat and sleep.

But well there are many things we dont really know. Things that doesnt relate to our lifestyle. And these things tend to be hidden quietly away and come out as a mean bully only later on.

As such, I am making an appointment to get myself tested. I hope for a good result as I aint mentally prepare to hear something bad now. I guess we can only hope for the best and sorta prepare for the worst.

Sneezy

Happens to me all the time....

In other news, the Japs have found a way to stop a sneeze. Simply press your upper lip with 2 fingers just prior to a sneeze.

Apparently you would stop the message being send to your nose. Dun ask me why, cos it doesnt work on me.

Wedding experience: Finacial Planning

Honestly I am no big expert on the topic financial planning. My biggest expense til date would have been my wedding banquet. And that is one hefty package. So am I the right person to dish out advise. I guess not.

But I do know enough to keep me afloat and get me by comfortably.

If you do a search, you would find plenty of advises out there. Go look up your financial planner (formerly known as insurance agent). They be happy to share with you on their experience. But ermmm be extremely careful with them. They tend to be vampire in disguise.

Among us all, we would encounter those whom "live for the moment". They spend almost as much as they earned. At times spending money they do not have yet. This is definitely not ideal. You never know when would future money stop coming in and debts would always be there waiting.

Just the day after my wedding, my wife and I sat down in our room to open the ang pao collected. We spent plenty of time stacking similar denomination together and then recounted everything again. We need to be sure that these well wishes are correctly tallied.

Throughout my wedding, I had made payment for the majority of the stuffs. I had insisted to my parents that I would be bearing all costs and they need not help me. A large part of me feels that as a son, I should be bearing all the expenses. I would just want my folks to be part of this event.

I had estimated on the total cost of the wedding. Set aside plenty of savings to be used. And when the day comes to make the final payment, I felt a sense of liberation. To me, I have finally clear this last debt. No longer would I need to keep my spending on hold.

Its worth to note that the cost of the entire event aint cheap. If I had not work for at least 3 years, I wont know how am I going to pull this off. Looking at the ang pao collected, you would imagine that this would go back to my personal bank account.

But we didnt.

We decided beforehand that all these would go into our joint accounts. The well wishes given to us by our family and friends are intended for us to be happily ever after.

We opened 2 accounts in our name. One for our housing commitments and another for our other expenses. I taken time to analyze our big commitment. Its going to be a 30 year loan and we would both need to be working to be able to finance it comfortably.

We decided that we would put in our salary equally to our housing account. The amount we gave should be equal to the monthly loan we have to pay. This would ensure that the original amount inside would be left untouched and form our buffer. I estimated that in the worst case scenario where both of us are jobless, this amount should last us 8 months.

On the other account, it is more relax. It could be known as our lifestyle account. We are free to spend from it without cap and top it up at a fixed amount. This would help pay off for our coming renovation works and furnishing. Later on this account would help settle for our future kids expenses and other misc.

The main concept which I had for these 2 differing accounts, is that there would always be a roof for heads, whereas our lifestyle account could adapt.

The crazy thing about financial planning is that, there is no fixed rule. It gets even crazier that the planning is bounded to adapted to the economy concerns.

the return

Hey world. I am back once more.

Its been sometime since I last wrote anything here. The spaces between do feel a little vacant.

My issues have yet to be fully resolved. Such things just need time to work out and I couldnt rush even if I wanted to.

The only positive light is that, today marks the day where there is certainty. The 'unknown' has been revealed. For this, I am now able to return to this semi-private spot to rant on my thoughts.

So stay tune for more postings. I would seek to be less crappy.

Blogging silence

For reason that would be private to myself. I shall retain blogging silent for a period.

I am unsure on when I would return to blogging. Perhaps you should not wait

Wedding experience: The AD PG part 2

Well there is a little good news.

We have informed him that we are not too pleased with the services and felt he could have done better. He has responded positively and agreed that he would be passing to us ALL the photos taken.

Now there is slight hope that from this giant 1000+ collection we are able to dig out more decent photos to compliment the event.

For me at least, I am happy that he has responded positively. It seem to show that he would work something out decent for us.

But on a separate note I had a conversation with a fellow colleague whom gotten married 2 weeks before mine. She has hired a big name to take the pic and has not seen them yet. Partly she is also concerned about it. After all, the famous PG tends to post selective good pic up on FB and this time round, there was none.

I told her that we have to lower our expectation for AD. Unless our pre-wedding shots which has settings, backgrounds, lighting, etc of our choice, the AD is pretty much WYSIWYG.

We are likely to see cramp photos with plenty of relatives. And interestingly they tend to blink when the shutter is opened. We also have kids running around in the background that simply cant be stopped. Not to forget we have a paparazzi of other "PG" whom crowd out everyone view.

Without any control on how the shots would come out, and also no retake (I only have 1 church march in), everything is pretty much left up to chance.

I hope her photos turned out well. But would like to say this to all, we have to lower our expectation down 2 levels. So long as the Photos captured the memories and presence of my friends and family, I wont complain much more.

Wedding experience: The AD PG

For info AD PG stands for Actual Day Photographer

Now that my wedding has passed, I would like to say that this was one bad experience for me.

During our planning stage, we decided that we would seek out a freelance PG. Someone that is not tagged to our bridal studio as the package that is offered tends to be rather expensive.

On the hindsight, perhaps we should. We had a great time with the pre-wedding shots and our PG was fabulous to work with. The only drawback is that we know that the studio would charge us plenty for the photos taken. And we din want to hacker over this with them once more.

SOOO we decided to look for a standalone PG. There are 2 main options. The freelancers and the big names studio type.

The freelancers are a good bargain. They are generally more affordable as there are plenty of them to choose from. The only drawback is that there are so many of them, we had to screen thru plenty of their past works.

The studios ones are far more professional. They would give a clear breakdown on their pricing and as their reputations are at stake, their services and photos are generally of better quality.

For us, our emphasis was not really on the photos (more on the dinner itself). We also feel that the standards of the freelancers and the studios are rather close. We just have to shop around to find one that is available and of a good standard.

After some weeks of looking and meeting up with them, we were fairly disappointed not being able to employ the service of one of them. We like his photos and most of all, like the idea that he is working part-time for some bridal studio. In fact he is quite a candid person. Someone we had a good time talking to.

We thus expanded our search and arrived at another freelancer. He is quite a confident person whose full time job is selling camera equipment and taking photos is more of a hobby. His pics are rather decent and we settled for him.

A week before the wedding he emailed to ask if he could bring along some assistants. We thought that they are helping him with the setup of the shots and happily agreed.

Then comes the AD

Our PG turns out to be a stealth shooter. He quietly walks about and capture the shots throughout the day. The assistant on the other hand were given the task to handle the formal shots. IE the group photos and the tea ceremony.

This worries me then. We do not know the skill of the assistant and whether they are capable enough to take a proper shot.

Oh and I mean stealth is largely due to him keeping quiet. He didnt direct us and leave us wondering what to do next. Simple stuff like how he would like to compose the shots were not addressed. This resulted in some essential photos (group shots, shots at the church, etc) totally left out.

During the pre-dinner reception, I was pretty curious on what he was doing. We were around to mingle with our guests and strangely he was not around to capture many of that.

And then comes the table shots, he left it to his junior assistant to take it. We were made to smile for about a minute when the young chap took 6 shots and calibrate his equipment in between each. There wasnt a cue given that he was about to pull the trigger. So we just held our poses. (PS. I gotten my cousin to tell him off after 2 tables)

Its now a couple of weeks after our wedding and we received the pic in a form of a DVD. Our fears are now realised. There were photos missing, there were pictures that make no sense (not even artistic sense). Its likely the poorer ones are the work of the assistant no less.

Well to be fair, some of the shots which he has taken are rather good. But we felt that important pictures are not ruined by his assistants.

We have raised a concern to him and he is now looking into it. As he has provided us only a small collection of the photos, we are hoping that with the missing shots returned, we are able to evaluate his work fully.

Thinking about it now, part of me regretted choosing him. I have learned that a hobby could not be translated to professional service. If budget was still an issue, I would have look around for one that is working frequently as a PG.

To be safe on this, someone that you have gotten a good recommendation from. Someone whom is able to show his most recent works. Someone whom is able to hold a good conversation with you (This shows how much he is willing to connect with the guests).

We had taken a leap of faith based on his photos, but were let down by his personal service. This is something we could not have seen.

For you guys reading this, its partly, ok mostly a rant. I would advise getting someone you can trust. As the photos taken are the memories of the events. Something to cherish as the years goes by.

Wedding Montage

Wedding experience: The church part

Having been a Catholic for almost all my life, its natural for me to host my wedding in the church. Of cos, this is a pretty sensitive portion. After all, my Wife (yes Wife now) is not of my religion.

From my personal experience, a good 50% of couples are of mixed religion. Those who are of similar religion, may not be from the same church, cell group, etc. In other words, you may have to give and take on how you want your solemization to be carried out.

Let me discuss abt your solemization first. The first step is to register for it ONLINE. You have between 3 weeks to 3 months to register your wedding date. The earlier the better.

Prior to that you need to find a registered solemizer. Not some dude in an Elvis costume. You would need to book the place for the ceremony too.

For my case, my wedding is to be held in the church. And I learned it thru the hard way that there is no such thing as a church wedding coordinator. I pretty much planned the whole ceremony, decorations, timing, guest list, choir, etc on my own.

My wife is not of my religion and we attended a wedding preparation course. This is known as Engagement Encounter. The main purpose is to ensure that we are ready for marriage life and not just going thru it because the timing is ripe or the feeling is right.

We spent a weekend in an ulu location and worked out on many issues. I am glad we survived it well without needing to quarrel. There are some, whom had fights and left the place wondering if they should go ahead with their plans.

From the bottom of my heart, I would suggest all couples to attend to course. It helps to get you to understand your partner better. There are many things you would not even think of discussing now, and may bite you later. So its good to attend and learn how this course could help you and your partner work out your issues.

PS. I believed you dun even need to be Catholics to go for it.

Once the course is over we are given a cert and met up with our solemizer, Father Loisuea. He is probably past 90 years old and jokingly tells me that he would solemize my wedding provided he is still alive.

Father Loisuea briefed us on the church wedding and its importance. There is 2 options we can take. A full Wedding Mass or a Wedding Service. The differences is that the Service do away with the Eucharistic portion. ie. no blessing of bread and wine, no receiving of holy communion.

I had opted for that as I felt that going through a full mass would not be fair for those non catholics.

Father then gave me service booklets that were prepared by other couples. It was to be a good reference for me. Allowing for me to read through and learned how the whole ceremony flows.

The next part consist of the preparations.

1. Made booklets for my guests (can opt for Powerpoint slides if you want)
2. Source for a choir and organist.
3. Design and decide on the church decorations
4. Find a flower girl and a page boy (no need to be virgins)
5. Choose my readers and the scriptures to read
6. Arrange for rehearsal (VERY important)
7. Appoint a church coordinator

These were to be my biggest headaches and I am glad they kinda fall into place when the day arrived.

I must add that my Church Coordinator, Martin, had played a very big part for helping out. He was the director that ensure everyone carry out their roles well on the actual day.

Jan 15 event

Well this is what was given to me by my Photographer.

For those who missed it, do enjoy

Facial

I was given a facial package by my dear sister. She din want it any more and tot that I could really use something like that. After all, our DNA shows that we have difficult skin that needs some work.

The past couple of months, I been popping down on facial place occasionally. Each time they look at me and recommended me to top up for more treatment. I felt pretty much like I have the face of a monster which needs extensive work.

Recently, I brought my WTB along as well. I figured that since we have to look our best for our wedding day, we should have a good facial treatment.

And sure enough, they are up to the tricks and constantly reminded my WTB that she has facial issues to address. Sure enough, she sign on a package. I foresee she would be coming down with me in the next couple of weeks to get our face treated.

Its quite an interesting feeling no doubt, however I always feel their method of getting clients to sign on for more treatment to be a bad taste.

Oh Well.....

Differences between Chinese and Western moms

I found this a very interesting read. And perhaps there is a little on stereotypes

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic
success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams. [...]

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You’re lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they’re not disappointed about how their kids turned out.

Wedding experience: The invites

Its been about a month since I have sent out my invitation. And in this current practise of invitation, you first ask the person whom you are inviting if he/she is available to come. If so, are they coming alone or with partner and if any kids too. THEN you send the invitation card.

Kinda makes the whole RSVP thing irrelevant.

Let me go true this in detail. First you have to know your venue size and the likely total number of guests you be inviting. There are 3 groups for each individual. The family, the friends and the colleagues.

For family, just leave your parents to settle. Less hassle really. For your friends and colleagues you have to do so yourself. Aside from the family group, which is more or less a fixed number. In other words, if you are related to me by blood, you have to attend. No buts.

For family and colleagues, its tougher. Give a rough count on the number of people by groups. For me, the scout friends is about 2 tables and my Secondary friend is just 1.

So from these, you will tally up to find a good estimate for yourself and partner. And then you go shop for a location that is able to accommodate them all.

Now as the wedding approaches, you would have to finalise your numbers. Real names have to put into your list. Its here when you be surprised. Your list might grow a further 10% (worst case scenario).

But that not the worst yet.

When you actually ask your guest if they be coming, you will need to relook once more. Sometimes the guys you be inviting have been staying aboard for years and you dont even know that. Sometimes, your friends are married (without telling you) and they be coming with their 3 kids.

So the number changes once more at this stage. This is the time you put their names down onto the card and mail to them. I had tried to meet up some of my closer friends to pass them their cards personnally. Its a difficult task which I took leave and had to juggle with different timetables to meet as many as I can in a day.

If you are reading this and I happened to post it to you.... Its because I tried to meet up but ermm.... we couldnt find a good time to meet. I really tried.

Oh wait, the surprises doesnt end yet. The guest list will keep evolving till your actual wedding day. I have colleagues who been asked to travel overseas at the last min.

PS. I would strongly suggest you do an excel file of your guest list. You wont be able to keep track who says what, or if you send them an invitation.... To be honest, I miss out on a few guys whom I had informed them about my wedding and absolutely forgotten to do up their cards.

Anyhow, you should still progressively do up your table list. This is the list you group who sit where.

Things to consider

1. Any infant seats? If so, its a 10 + 1
2. Any Vegetarian or Halal? Could be a 10 + 1
3. Try to put friends in the same cliche together
4. Those who really only know you and no one else, just put a noisy friend next to them and hope they click
5. Breaking up a group of 12 into 6-6 and mixing them with other group
6. Put any single guys together any single girls. (Only do so if you have time)

Ok I need to get back to my list. Still have work to do of it

Wedding experience: The suit and the gown

The most fun we had pre-wedding is the photo-taking. We get to play dress up and pose like models in plenty of amusing settings and environment.

There are 2 ways you could go about it. The most common is to go for a package at any of the bridal studios. They would provide you with selection of gowns and suits to choose from, indoor studio for shooting and the giant photo album. The alternative is the ala carte method. You approach a standalone gown maker or the same bridal studio just for the gowns. Your photographer would be separately hired.

There are pro and cons to both. The all in one package saves you plenty of headache and you could bargain for some stuff as the competition is quite stiff. The ala carte allows you to choose a gown you fancy as well as a prestige photographer you want.

Price wise, the package will generally fall between 2K to 4K depending on the number of shots you have. The ala carte would be pricer. Gown rental may be in the region of 1K-2K and the photographer may charge from amateur rates of 2K to 5K for a professional.

So do weight your budget and the amount of headache you want.

We opted for an all in 1 package during a bridal fair. There were like 6-7 studios chasing for our attention. This allows us for a good opportunity to get a better deal. The only issue is that each one of them wont want you to go and you tend to spend an hour at each studio before moving on.

From experience, if you opting for the package, there are 2 main things to look out for. Firstly do check on their varieties of their gowns. If they have 200+ choices and allow for made to measure, you are fairly safe. (PS. Dun bother about asking for suits, we guys aint important here). Secondly, do sample their albums on the style of the photos.

There are some designers whose photoshopping skills is out of this world. You could stand in a crowded road and they make it like "I am legend". You could even be in Nardia if you want. Frankly this is not my style and I prefer something more natural.

After you decided on the studio you like, you must show the least interest in signing for them. Prepare to stand up and walk away like you are in Bangkok MBK. They will surely entice you with package deals that includes plenty of items. The things you need are,

1. Gown (3 sets) Morning, evening, tea dress
2. Bridal makeup
3. Album and number of poses
4. car deco
5. photo frame
6. guy suit

The things you may want to add are

6. suits for your parents
7. small photo album
8. rental of bridal car
9. actual day photographer
10. hand bouquet
11. Pants

During our negotiation, we were offered only 40 poses. We do know that this is too little. Which is why we insisted on upping the poses to 60 without extra charges. They refused of course. We then asked what is the cost for addition poses and after some bargaining we managed to secure a low fixed price for any add ons.

This prove a life saver for us as we choose a total of 80 poses in the end. Imagine the amount I have saved.

PS. I recall there are some studio that added a hidden charge, saying that they need to add a few pages to the album and it will be separately priced. Be wary and ask about everything. Do also make them write down this all in the invoice.

Ok now onto the fun part

We went to choose the gowns and carry out measurements 2 months prior to the shoot. It was a tiring event for my WTB to change each set of gowns. But the time is well spent.

During the phototaking day, we loaded plenty of cold drinks in cooler boxes and arrived at the studio for her make up. The make up takes 2 hours BTW.

The first portion are the studio shots and we brought our props to play along. I brought a gun, hat, glasses, photo frames and tees. You could bring what you like along. The first few shots you would learn how to stand and pose. It aint that easy and I guess models do have it tough.

The second part is the outdoor shoot. We managed to squeeze 3 locations and had a good fun there. The challenging part is that you need to plan the route and pray for good weather.

Oh and, night shots are pretty tough. Without ample lighting, there are plenty of places you cant shoot. My advise is to skip any scenic night shots and choose dusk shots.

Ok I think I written too much today. Now my fingers are tired.

It was a very good year

An old tune was heard over FB. At once it reminds me of the good old times in my scout days. A bunch of smelly guys sitting together with nothing better to do (while at Caroling) and we make up plenty of new songs.

When I was 1 year old, it was a very good year, it was a very good year, it was a very good year!!! *cue guitar solo*

Do it yourself doodler

Imagine only given this, what would you have drawn.

Could it be any one of this?

But I guess some guys whom only drawn her fully naked

Ideas for slides

I am in the middle of designing my slides. And this seems like a good idea....