Wedding experience: The AD PG

For info AD PG stands for Actual Day Photographer

Now that my wedding has passed, I would like to say that this was one bad experience for me.

During our planning stage, we decided that we would seek out a freelance PG. Someone that is not tagged to our bridal studio as the package that is offered tends to be rather expensive.

On the hindsight, perhaps we should. We had a great time with the pre-wedding shots and our PG was fabulous to work with. The only drawback is that we know that the studio would charge us plenty for the photos taken. And we din want to hacker over this with them once more.

SOOO we decided to look for a standalone PG. There are 2 main options. The freelancers and the big names studio type.

The freelancers are a good bargain. They are generally more affordable as there are plenty of them to choose from. The only drawback is that there are so many of them, we had to screen thru plenty of their past works.

The studios ones are far more professional. They would give a clear breakdown on their pricing and as their reputations are at stake, their services and photos are generally of better quality.

For us, our emphasis was not really on the photos (more on the dinner itself). We also feel that the standards of the freelancers and the studios are rather close. We just have to shop around to find one that is available and of a good standard.

After some weeks of looking and meeting up with them, we were fairly disappointed not being able to employ the service of one of them. We like his photos and most of all, like the idea that he is working part-time for some bridal studio. In fact he is quite a candid person. Someone we had a good time talking to.

We thus expanded our search and arrived at another freelancer. He is quite a confident person whose full time job is selling camera equipment and taking photos is more of a hobby. His pics are rather decent and we settled for him.

A week before the wedding he emailed to ask if he could bring along some assistants. We thought that they are helping him with the setup of the shots and happily agreed.

Then comes the AD

Our PG turns out to be a stealth shooter. He quietly walks about and capture the shots throughout the day. The assistant on the other hand were given the task to handle the formal shots. IE the group photos and the tea ceremony.

This worries me then. We do not know the skill of the assistant and whether they are capable enough to take a proper shot.

Oh and I mean stealth is largely due to him keeping quiet. He didnt direct us and leave us wondering what to do next. Simple stuff like how he would like to compose the shots were not addressed. This resulted in some essential photos (group shots, shots at the church, etc) totally left out.

During the pre-dinner reception, I was pretty curious on what he was doing. We were around to mingle with our guests and strangely he was not around to capture many of that.

And then comes the table shots, he left it to his junior assistant to take it. We were made to smile for about a minute when the young chap took 6 shots and calibrate his equipment in between each. There wasnt a cue given that he was about to pull the trigger. So we just held our poses. (PS. I gotten my cousin to tell him off after 2 tables)

Its now a couple of weeks after our wedding and we received the pic in a form of a DVD. Our fears are now realised. There were photos missing, there were pictures that make no sense (not even artistic sense). Its likely the poorer ones are the work of the assistant no less.

Well to be fair, some of the shots which he has taken are rather good. But we felt that important pictures are not ruined by his assistants.

We have raised a concern to him and he is now looking into it. As he has provided us only a small collection of the photos, we are hoping that with the missing shots returned, we are able to evaluate his work fully.

Thinking about it now, part of me regretted choosing him. I have learned that a hobby could not be translated to professional service. If budget was still an issue, I would have look around for one that is working frequently as a PG.

To be safe on this, someone that you have gotten a good recommendation from. Someone whom is able to show his most recent works. Someone whom is able to hold a good conversation with you (This shows how much he is willing to connect with the guests).

We had taken a leap of faith based on his photos, but were let down by his personal service. This is something we could not have seen.

For you guys reading this, its partly, ok mostly a rant. I would advise getting someone you can trust. As the photos taken are the memories of the events. Something to cherish as the years goes by.

Wedding Montage

Wedding experience: The church part

Having been a Catholic for almost all my life, its natural for me to host my wedding in the church. Of cos, this is a pretty sensitive portion. After all, my Wife (yes Wife now) is not of my religion.

From my personal experience, a good 50% of couples are of mixed religion. Those who are of similar religion, may not be from the same church, cell group, etc. In other words, you may have to give and take on how you want your solemization to be carried out.

Let me discuss abt your solemization first. The first step is to register for it ONLINE. You have between 3 weeks to 3 months to register your wedding date. The earlier the better.

Prior to that you need to find a registered solemizer. Not some dude in an Elvis costume. You would need to book the place for the ceremony too.

For my case, my wedding is to be held in the church. And I learned it thru the hard way that there is no such thing as a church wedding coordinator. I pretty much planned the whole ceremony, decorations, timing, guest list, choir, etc on my own.

My wife is not of my religion and we attended a wedding preparation course. This is known as Engagement Encounter. The main purpose is to ensure that we are ready for marriage life and not just going thru it because the timing is ripe or the feeling is right.

We spent a weekend in an ulu location and worked out on many issues. I am glad we survived it well without needing to quarrel. There are some, whom had fights and left the place wondering if they should go ahead with their plans.

From the bottom of my heart, I would suggest all couples to attend to course. It helps to get you to understand your partner better. There are many things you would not even think of discussing now, and may bite you later. So its good to attend and learn how this course could help you and your partner work out your issues.

PS. I believed you dun even need to be Catholics to go for it.

Once the course is over we are given a cert and met up with our solemizer, Father Loisuea. He is probably past 90 years old and jokingly tells me that he would solemize my wedding provided he is still alive.

Father Loisuea briefed us on the church wedding and its importance. There is 2 options we can take. A full Wedding Mass or a Wedding Service. The differences is that the Service do away with the Eucharistic portion. ie. no blessing of bread and wine, no receiving of holy communion.

I had opted for that as I felt that going through a full mass would not be fair for those non catholics.

Father then gave me service booklets that were prepared by other couples. It was to be a good reference for me. Allowing for me to read through and learned how the whole ceremony flows.

The next part consist of the preparations.

1. Made booklets for my guests (can opt for Powerpoint slides if you want)
2. Source for a choir and organist.
3. Design and decide on the church decorations
4. Find a flower girl and a page boy (no need to be virgins)
5. Choose my readers and the scriptures to read
6. Arrange for rehearsal (VERY important)
7. Appoint a church coordinator

These were to be my biggest headaches and I am glad they kinda fall into place when the day arrived.

I must add that my Church Coordinator, Martin, had played a very big part for helping out. He was the director that ensure everyone carry out their roles well on the actual day.

Jan 15 event

Well this is what was given to me by my Photographer.

For those who missed it, do enjoy

Facial

I was given a facial package by my dear sister. She din want it any more and tot that I could really use something like that. After all, our DNA shows that we have difficult skin that needs some work.

The past couple of months, I been popping down on facial place occasionally. Each time they look at me and recommended me to top up for more treatment. I felt pretty much like I have the face of a monster which needs extensive work.

Recently, I brought my WTB along as well. I figured that since we have to look our best for our wedding day, we should have a good facial treatment.

And sure enough, they are up to the tricks and constantly reminded my WTB that she has facial issues to address. Sure enough, she sign on a package. I foresee she would be coming down with me in the next couple of weeks to get our face treated.

Its quite an interesting feeling no doubt, however I always feel their method of getting clients to sign on for more treatment to be a bad taste.

Oh Well.....

Differences between Chinese and Western moms

I found this a very interesting read. And perhaps there is a little on stereotypes

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic
success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams. [...]

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You’re lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they’re not disappointed about how their kids turned out.

Wedding experience: The invites

Its been about a month since I have sent out my invitation. And in this current practise of invitation, you first ask the person whom you are inviting if he/she is available to come. If so, are they coming alone or with partner and if any kids too. THEN you send the invitation card.

Kinda makes the whole RSVP thing irrelevant.

Let me go true this in detail. First you have to know your venue size and the likely total number of guests you be inviting. There are 3 groups for each individual. The family, the friends and the colleagues.

For family, just leave your parents to settle. Less hassle really. For your friends and colleagues you have to do so yourself. Aside from the family group, which is more or less a fixed number. In other words, if you are related to me by blood, you have to attend. No buts.

For family and colleagues, its tougher. Give a rough count on the number of people by groups. For me, the scout friends is about 2 tables and my Secondary friend is just 1.

So from these, you will tally up to find a good estimate for yourself and partner. And then you go shop for a location that is able to accommodate them all.

Now as the wedding approaches, you would have to finalise your numbers. Real names have to put into your list. Its here when you be surprised. Your list might grow a further 10% (worst case scenario).

But that not the worst yet.

When you actually ask your guest if they be coming, you will need to relook once more. Sometimes the guys you be inviting have been staying aboard for years and you dont even know that. Sometimes, your friends are married (without telling you) and they be coming with their 3 kids.

So the number changes once more at this stage. This is the time you put their names down onto the card and mail to them. I had tried to meet up some of my closer friends to pass them their cards personnally. Its a difficult task which I took leave and had to juggle with different timetables to meet as many as I can in a day.

If you are reading this and I happened to post it to you.... Its because I tried to meet up but ermm.... we couldnt find a good time to meet. I really tried.

Oh wait, the surprises doesnt end yet. The guest list will keep evolving till your actual wedding day. I have colleagues who been asked to travel overseas at the last min.

PS. I would strongly suggest you do an excel file of your guest list. You wont be able to keep track who says what, or if you send them an invitation.... To be honest, I miss out on a few guys whom I had informed them about my wedding and absolutely forgotten to do up their cards.

Anyhow, you should still progressively do up your table list. This is the list you group who sit where.

Things to consider

1. Any infant seats? If so, its a 10 + 1
2. Any Vegetarian or Halal? Could be a 10 + 1
3. Try to put friends in the same cliche together
4. Those who really only know you and no one else, just put a noisy friend next to them and hope they click
5. Breaking up a group of 12 into 6-6 and mixing them with other group
6. Put any single guys together any single girls. (Only do so if you have time)

Ok I need to get back to my list. Still have work to do of it

Wedding experience: The suit and the gown

The most fun we had pre-wedding is the photo-taking. We get to play dress up and pose like models in plenty of amusing settings and environment.

There are 2 ways you could go about it. The most common is to go for a package at any of the bridal studios. They would provide you with selection of gowns and suits to choose from, indoor studio for shooting and the giant photo album. The alternative is the ala carte method. You approach a standalone gown maker or the same bridal studio just for the gowns. Your photographer would be separately hired.

There are pro and cons to both. The all in one package saves you plenty of headache and you could bargain for some stuff as the competition is quite stiff. The ala carte allows you to choose a gown you fancy as well as a prestige photographer you want.

Price wise, the package will generally fall between 2K to 4K depending on the number of shots you have. The ala carte would be pricer. Gown rental may be in the region of 1K-2K and the photographer may charge from amateur rates of 2K to 5K for a professional.

So do weight your budget and the amount of headache you want.

We opted for an all in 1 package during a bridal fair. There were like 6-7 studios chasing for our attention. This allows us for a good opportunity to get a better deal. The only issue is that each one of them wont want you to go and you tend to spend an hour at each studio before moving on.

From experience, if you opting for the package, there are 2 main things to look out for. Firstly do check on their varieties of their gowns. If they have 200+ choices and allow for made to measure, you are fairly safe. (PS. Dun bother about asking for suits, we guys aint important here). Secondly, do sample their albums on the style of the photos.

There are some designers whose photoshopping skills is out of this world. You could stand in a crowded road and they make it like "I am legend". You could even be in Nardia if you want. Frankly this is not my style and I prefer something more natural.

After you decided on the studio you like, you must show the least interest in signing for them. Prepare to stand up and walk away like you are in Bangkok MBK. They will surely entice you with package deals that includes plenty of items. The things you need are,

1. Gown (3 sets) Morning, evening, tea dress
2. Bridal makeup
3. Album and number of poses
4. car deco
5. photo frame
6. guy suit

The things you may want to add are

6. suits for your parents
7. small photo album
8. rental of bridal car
9. actual day photographer
10. hand bouquet
11. Pants

During our negotiation, we were offered only 40 poses. We do know that this is too little. Which is why we insisted on upping the poses to 60 without extra charges. They refused of course. We then asked what is the cost for addition poses and after some bargaining we managed to secure a low fixed price for any add ons.

This prove a life saver for us as we choose a total of 80 poses in the end. Imagine the amount I have saved.

PS. I recall there are some studio that added a hidden charge, saying that they need to add a few pages to the album and it will be separately priced. Be wary and ask about everything. Do also make them write down this all in the invoice.

Ok now onto the fun part

We went to choose the gowns and carry out measurements 2 months prior to the shoot. It was a tiring event for my WTB to change each set of gowns. But the time is well spent.

During the phototaking day, we loaded plenty of cold drinks in cooler boxes and arrived at the studio for her make up. The make up takes 2 hours BTW.

The first portion are the studio shots and we brought our props to play along. I brought a gun, hat, glasses, photo frames and tees. You could bring what you like along. The first few shots you would learn how to stand and pose. It aint that easy and I guess models do have it tough.

The second part is the outdoor shoot. We managed to squeeze 3 locations and had a good fun there. The challenging part is that you need to plan the route and pray for good weather.

Oh and, night shots are pretty tough. Without ample lighting, there are plenty of places you cant shoot. My advise is to skip any scenic night shots and choose dusk shots.

Ok I think I written too much today. Now my fingers are tired.