sometime you wont know how much

One of my closest bud is in a little gf trouble. He has been sharing it with me and it does make me reflect back on myself and my past.

Relationship is a fragile state. A state where a slight movement will rock this boat and the rocking always intensified and it might lead to a eventual capsize. (ok I am getting too much influence from my Ship projects)

The thing is both parties had always assume that they are in a R/S, they expect the other to revolve their world around them. This was so kindly brought up by my Priest yesterday whom surely has never been married. But yet strangely his words enlighten me on what a outsider would see among 2 couples.

Anyway back to the first point. We all would ran into instances where we would get upset. It could be over something small. eg, the tone on the sms, the lack of smile in the morning. Or something not that small. eg, old pic of an ex lying somewhere hidden. And though this wouldnt normally start any fight on a normal sunny day, the anger is kept inside and not forgotten.

This ends up getting accumulated and in time to come, the fault finding would start. "Why you do this...", "Cant you be more...", "Must you always..." These would becoming the tsunami alert that a storm is brewing. Had the "opponent" relented and apologised for their actions. The tidal wave would end up looking like a splash from ECP. However, the moment the other half retaliate and protected themself, insisting they are of no fault (which is probably true). An endless fight would occur. Past issue that haunts them would be brought to support the argument that probably has no basis.

As Yoda said a Long time ago, "Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering."

But still does mereing giving in in the first place, help salvage the situation. Well it does lessen the blow, but it doesnt remove any of the archive angers the parties are keeping. It would take a desire to communicate and to maintain this between both parties to put away all the baggages. There should be no fear to open a conversation. Even if its pertaining to a small issue. "Sweetie, I dont like your tone this morning....", "Ohh didnt realise I had a tone, sorry Sweetie. Lets have a nice evening to make up."

Anyhow, I think I been naggy and windy enough for this post. Perhaps I would write again but well I dont really like to (a)