Soccer in work life

Very often you would find reference to soccer in work life. Sometimes the reference is so real, it hurts.

Sales is pretty much like strikers. When they clinch a deal (or score a goal), they are heavily praised upon and rewarded. Whereas the engineers are like the goalkeeper. They do a good job and no one realise. Its only when there is a mistake made (a goal scored) that the engineers get all the unnecessary attention.


1.  All that lessons learn in school (training) have never transferred to real life. The competition will tackle you and you may break a leg.



2.  You are only valuable to the team when the other teams (other job offers) wants you. Its only then that your boss will notice you.

3.  Working hard and long hours doesnt mean you will go home a winner. Often its played on luck and that means being in the right place at the right time.




4.  Everyone gives their 2 cents worth on what you should have done after the match (project) ended and not before.

5.  No one is happy to be substituted.

6.  Fighting among co-workers in front of others are fairly common




7. Staying in one team for good never gets you anywhere. Unless the team you are in, happen to be the top team.Then again, you may still want to leave and go to Madrid.

8. You can expect to work on most weekend. Holidays included.

Hublot watch - Antikythera mechanism

I should really not look at watches. Without fail, I would find something I like and spend the rest of the day thinking about it.

Its like having a massive crush on a girl. Except this could be bought with the right price.

Hublot went about and recreated an ancient mechanism now known as Antikythera mechanism. Its invented in the 100-200 BC to allow the Greek to accurately predict the position of the sun and the nearest known stars (planets).This can be done, simply by turning a single dial.

Now I am captivated by this and dreaming wish I could own this piece of history on my wrist. I think it would no doubt be costly. Hopefully I would struck TOTO one day

The wait for your property

I was rather fortunate. Just last June I made a deposit with a heavy heart. I know I need a home after my wedding. But its impossible to find a place that is affordable and readily available. The HDB launches then are impossible. Our combined income was outside the ceiling. The resale HDBs were scary. COV was averaging at 40K and it aint going to be a location I am happy with.

It took a heavy heart to come to terms that my home would likely to be my biggest investment. Something I would be working hard to pay off.  This would leave little for other luxuries. As I made the deposit, I can only hope for the best. So far, I have not regretted on my decision.

The thing that I was pleasantly surprise was that I would be getting my keys in Dec. Now how about that. A wait of just 1.5 years. Something bearable.

Now if you wondering why I am sharing all these above, its becos of my conversation with a senior colleague. To give you the whole picture, I shall throw some background info. He is single, in his late 40s and is wary about investments.

He said that the PAP Govt (Notice he din said its the SG Govt, but branded it PAP) has noticed that the voters are unhappy. Largely becos of the high cost of owning a property. Well he was partially right. The voters are unhappy for high property cost, but are also upset of the job losses, influx of foreigners, etc etc etc. AS SUCH our PAP govt will control the price of the properties. They even hinted (no reference provided) that in 2014 the prices will drop drastically.

This is something I do not quite agreed. Yes, I aint no soothsayer. I definitely cant predict my stocks portfolio in 2 weeks much less the next 2 years. But I do know that its very hard to bring down the property prices.

Just 2-3 years back when we have the Depression. The one they said would rival the Great Depression of 1930s. Well what happen to our property prices? Interestingly I did not notice a substantial decline.

Private condos that were in the launch phrase did became softer. A small discount was given to entice buyers to come in. And though the showrooms were quieter, the units were largely sold out.

Property developers who were anticipating the crash, immediately withheld all their plans. No new housing were build thus increasing the demand with a even smaller supply. (HDB too reduce their supply, thanks to a smart arse)

Those who owned homes has withhold from selling. The majority could afford to wait out. And with banks giving out a pretty low interest rate then, they are more than happy to. 

Those whom owned properties for rental too were enjoying the low rental rates. They may be the tricky bunch as some may have tenants whom pack up and leave. (forgoing a month of security deposit) However I am sure even with vacant units, those whom could afford to rent them out are able to hold on to them for months and not years.

So what is this trying to tell us? Property is a big investment and most investors are fundamentally able to cope with a short term loss. Despite an economic decline, the price of property may slip a few % but generally would stay strong.

Now let me use another way to explain this. A majority of our savings are tied up in our home. This is our prime investment where it takes years to pay off the banks. If a substantial drop (lets say 20%) is to occur, plenty of us would be cursing that we are paying more than what our home is worth.

Banks will be wary of this as well. Any bad debts would mean that the unit they be repossessing is worth less than the loan. A good amount of paper value would be wiped out if that is to happen.

Soooo do I think that the property price would drop? Well NO. I have seen the past data when I was looking for a home during the crisis. I saw a dip and not witness a drop.

Personally I think our Govt hands are tied. The only thing they could do is to stabilize the pricing and build affordable HDBs for young couples.

PS. I doubt the Govt would cut the price of new HDB by half, unless they are keen to piss off all the surrounding neighbors and developers. If a new 5 room unit cost 200K, all surrounding older unit, would have their prices drop. And these are the ppl whom has paid 500K for their unit years ago. Imagine the paper loss.

Home project

Just a couple of weeks ago, I received a surprise call from my lawyer. He has called to informed me that I be getting my keys to my new home in Dec, this year. Now this is a little shock to me. The developer has kept the TOP at Dec 2012 and even counting in the time buffer they put in and the speed of construction, I had only assumed that I could collect my keys in early half of 2012.

So with my mouth wide open, my heart skipping a bit, I shared this news with my wifey. She too was taken aback. Both of us are excited by this news and it became apparent that we need to get some planning done.

First off, I called 2 of my Bros. Mr B who is in the flooring biz and is setting up work on home interior design. He has assured me that he would help me to look into carpentry and necessary painting and flooring.

Next I called my Mr N, who is in the lighting biz. He invited both us to drop by his showroom and we have found a couple of lightings we fancy. We even found that he has products on ceiling fans and would be considering them as well.

Furnishing is the next step and we dropped by Furniture Mall yesterday to take a good look. I must say, 3 hours is not sufficient to cover the whole place. We spent most of the time in the first 2 floors and have only swing by the 3rd for a quick look.

Looking at the possible cost that we would arrive at, I must say I am glad that we are financially prepare for this. It feels like I have taken a whole year of my income and gave it to all these groups of ppl for a swell looking home.

Nothing in life is cheap nor easy. One has to be prepared for the worst and planned for the best. (This means I wont have to go ahead with my EU 11 plan)

Pet tracking idea

This all happen relatively quick. Got a fren who is into a biz that provides vehicle tracking services. I remarked to him that he has a brilliant product and there is plenty of opportunities he could explore.

And then he enticed me.

He asked if I wanted to go over to help him out. He is in need of people to help him grow his biz and is relented to trust just about any one.

Honestly I am flattered and strongly tempted. The idea of being in a small startup and the ability to help it grow, greatly entices me.

Sadly I told him that I could not afford to do so. I am pegged down with commitments and would need the dough. He understood where I was coming from and we kept our friendship professional.

When an idea pops up, I would share with him about the possibility of using his tracking services in this new area. He would give me an opinion if it is feasible or not. Recently I came up with the idea of Pet tracking and shared with him immediately.

What I din know was that he has already ventured into that field. The only problem was, this was carried out in another country and not SG. He asked if I was keen on it. If so, I could be his reseller. All I would need is to register a legal biz entity and signed with him a reseller deal. I would price the product with a mark up and proceed to sell it in my own capacity. I am fairly excited and have been considering it since.

I aint keen to just jump straight into it. I need to see if there is market potential for this. What I do know is that my risk would be small. The startup capital would be affordable and I just need to the energy and time to market this (online stores and such).

I guess I would make my decision shortly. If its worth a shot, I should be waiting for the cows to come home.

Awake? You might just be sleep walking

Every work day I followed a fixed routine. Alarm ring, put to snooze, got up, turn on the heater, grab the papers, boil some water, go back to bed, alarm ring again, curse, silent alarm, shower, make breakfast, read the papers and run off in a daze to work

It’s the same routine that repeats endlessly. Something I could practically do without any thinking. I bet I could even close my eyes while doing it. But it wise to keep my eyes half open at least. Wont want to walk into the balcony thinking its my shower.

Now I don’t dread on the routine in my daily ritual. After all, I been experimenting and found it to be my most effective routine to get all the above done in an hour and reach work on time. What I do dread is going to my workplace and do nothing more but routine work.

I have spent 5 years in an establishment that limits my creativity and growth. A well structure organization that prevents one from getting work done quickly. Everything has to follow a fixed and meaningless structure. Slow and steady to win the race some might say, leaving my mind to become dumb and numb.

And then I had enough.

My bags were packed and I left to enter a whole new environment. The dangerous realms of the private sector. The place where public servants are told endless stories of back stabbing, bodies dumping and promiscuous relationships. Ok the last one may not be that bad… I kid.

It has been a couple of months now and I never felt better. I have faced many challenges in this period of time that makes my daily work seem non routine. I gotten to do marketing, a chance to sniff out competitors’ products, provide some cut throat strategy and secured a deal on my own. And to think I only have an engineering background.

Such is the hunger that I now have, I am craving for more. I am on a lookout for a good deal and to build my networks. I foresee that this would be necessary for me to achieve greater success in the future. Like Steve Jobs once said, you cant connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect the dots looking backward. You just have to trust that those dots somehow connect in your future.

I know for sure my future lies in those dots I have created now.

Zzz Monster

It never gives up. It creeps up to me when I least expect. And it never fails to cast its spell on me.

I have been fighting the monster for years now. A dreadful war that has no end in sight. When I was at my old company, I had the reliant of a saviour known as Nespresso. Sadly she is no longer on my desk any more and I battle alone.

There was a nice I gave in to its enduring spell. I would nap away comfortably at my desk. Ignoring the stares of the peers, bosses and big bosses. I must have look like I put in lots of hard work and deserve a quick shuteye.

Alas I am no longer in that safe zone. Sleeping openly is a declaration that I have not enough to do. That I hated what I am doing. That my boss simply bored me in the meetings.

So now, I have to fight the fight. To keep this madness Zzzz monster away. It aint going to be easy. Matchstick on my eyelids, burning eyedrops are helping me out. But there got to be a better way.

Tipsy

Well it doesnt happened too often. Come to think of it, in my 6 years of work, this has been the very first.

In any case, this is and perhaps would be the very first time there is beer given during office hours. We are also encouraged to toast our cupful of beer to our departing COO.

Now I must admit drinking during office hours is a big no no. Often there are uncompleted work on the table left behind while one has to attend such event. True enough you wont be able to complete it till the next day. There is also the office Politic aspect of it. Something that I am still learning.

Drink too much and you become a nuisance. The rest of the staff would never forgive you.

Drive too little and you are considered anti social.

Needless to say, those that could drink would just indulge in a cup or 2. Just so that they appeared accommodating. Those who cant, would just sip and play along.

I for one am a big drinker. But for this occasion, I have kept myself in check. No more than 3 cups and no loud noises. After all I wont know what really going to happen behind my back.

Ok time to sober up and get back home now. Its a good thing I dont drive

Bohm stiring engine

This is way too cool not to share. It would be nice to have sitting on my office desk

A micro biz idea

While having lunch today, I stumble upon an interesting biz idea. Its probably my 5th idea of what biz I should be doing in the future, but strangely I think this one might be a success.

What is it, I wont reveal a thing here. And all the hint you got is in the pic above.

Anyway, its so far 3 ideas that relate to food now. Perhaps being an ever hungry singaporean would drive me to think of mostly foodie ideas.

Well lets see how this pans out. This would just serve as a reminder for me in the event someone actually develops this and I can only cry about it.

Now onto my next biz idea

Pre-sales or Solution Architect

Hey future BLM,

I guess you probably know the differences between those 2 roles now. I however am still finding out.

Remember I was employed as a Project Lead. The role calls for me to manage and lead a team to carry out project works. However this is a SME and roles tend to overlap. As such, my director informed me that he is looking for me to be involved in either Pre-sales or Solution Architect. I must say, I am both nervy and excited about this.

I am guessing that Pre-sales would mean that I be assisting the sales team to pitch for contracts. What this seems to mean is that the sales team would generate interests and bring in the contact. When a potential customer responded, they would pitch the products/services to them. I would thus assist in the pitch to ensure that what the sales team promise, the engineering side could deliver. The promising part is that I would get some much needed sales experience from this. The down side is that this would be conflicting to the engineering role.

Solution Architect is a relatively new term to me. From what I imagine, this is the guy whom would design how the system would work. What parts would be needed, what structure the product should be build on, etc etc. This feels more at home to me. I have been keen on designing stuffs for a while now. However all the years in project management duties, all I ever did was to manage schedule, budget and relationships. At times, I envy those engineers whom get to do the exciting stuff while I just await their results. However the only down side to this is that, the growth is limited. An engineer would still be just an engineer. The progress to higher roles does not start from here.

I guess there is no clear path to success. I could do something I like and be lamenting on the limited growth or try to go out of my comfort zone and see if that works for me. The future is built on every small step I make now. It would be interesting that when future me reads back on this, he would laugh. Well I hope future me has no regrets.

Past BLM.

new work

After years of working for my old company, I came to realise one thing. I have forgotten how to make new friends.

and I am dead serious about it.

I was in my comfort zone. I had knew all the faces there. I could talk to those I fancy and ignore those I distrust.

But in this new place. Everyone is a stranger to me. Lunch was an interesting experience. I have to be careful to bring up topic that wont simply piss someone off accidentally.

Nevertheless I need to be fearless to get to know people and to get my job done. This is going to be an interesting firsts for me.

1/2 marathon

After years of running 10km, I have decided that I would not run that distance any more. Its time to progress.

I have been running the last 3 races as my frens did not want to challenge a longer distance. This time round, I decided that even if I have to go alone, I would try the 21km.

My personal goal is to just run without stopping. I likely be pacing at no more than 10km/h. With this, I hope to complete in 2hrs 30min.

5 days to go

Honestly I cant wait for this. In a short 5 days, I would be closing a chapter at my ermm first job (honestly I can never be sure this is my first job... There is the pilot stint)

And in July I be starting work at a new place.

Its just brilliant.

Seats

I am months away from getting my new place. (Ok maybe more like a year away)

Nevertheless the kaisu part of me has decided that its time to look at house reno mags and get some ideas from friends.

I chanced upon this website that sells chairs. And it giving me a positive outlook. (YES!)


Though I am a bigger fan of couch, I think I would prefer these chairs instead.

Now comes the question on what letters I should use. WTF? CHAIR? SEAT?

My last 2 weeks

After the letter has been laid and the persuasion given by my boss, my decision to leave here after 5.5 years has not waiver.

Indeed, I am sadden to leave. I have made plenty of frens here and get along well with most people. There is indeed some emotional links that has been rooted deeply. But I know I have to unplant myself and move on. (Ok too much PvZ has lead me to link to plants)

I am a little curious on what the private sector is like. Words has it that its frightening and the FT would do the same for half the price. I guess I would have to see it for myself.

For those who knows me well, I aint keen on being an employee for life. I have aspirations to be my own boss one day. This has been my life long dream where I get to run something. Perhaps it may be a F&B, where I be flipping pratas. Perhaps it may be me setting up a prawn shop (not porn or pawn). Perhaps it may be me running a team with 10 others, aiming to rob a casino with muscle cars. Yep, it could be anything and that day would come.

I shall enjoy the last few weeks of work while I can. Very soon this would all become a past memory

recycle me?

Just this afternoon, I was heading towards the MRT with my dear wife. We spotted an empty plastic bottle with a giant tag that says "Recycle Me".

Pretty interesting I tot. A bottle was certainly looking for some attention. Or was it something more.

I spied around quickly and notice a dude sitting not too far away with those giant inflatable clapper. And to my right a bunch of teens at starbucks staring at the bottle with clappers partially hidden.

I could only imagine the outcome when someone pick up that bottle. These little guerillas will spring into action and scare the person who is trying to do something noble.

This is perhaps why there will always be litter lying around. For we all would fear being single out for doing something that was right and natural.

My wife din quite believed me on this. I dared her to pick it up and she dared me back. Instead we walked away to get some snacks that we so hungrily needed.

blank out shades

Now I find this is pretty useful .... for a shameless politician that is

My last 5.5 years

Its been a great 5.5 years where I am now. Looking back, I could not have possibly imagine that I have stayed this long.

After I left school, I am driven to strive on an engineering job. Something that allows me to put what I learned to good use. Its was a turbulent year in 2005. Economy was getting back on track yet jobs are not readily available.

Armed with only a technical degree and no real working experience, I flipped through many pages of the Recruit and highlighted stuffs that interests me. Over 20 applications were sent in my first month alone. With no replies coming in, my desperation grew along and my preference drop. I began to pick about anything that I could get a reply from.

Just then I gotten a friendly email. Its from my current company and they are keen to schedule a meet up. (Interestingly, I applied for 2 jobs here and both call me up within 2 hours)

I put on my best shirt and tidied up my resume. Met up with 2 interviewers, one is my former boss and the other is my current. We had a good round of discussion and my previous boss highlighted this. This aint an engineering establishment, we do Project Management. I aint entirely sure what this meant back then. Aint Project work similarly to engineering?

They must have liked me. For within a week, I gotten a confirmation and I came down to sign my soul away. A contract term of 3 years was given and I happily accepted. I started work and was happy to learn that most of my colleagues are fresh grads as well.

I was given a big project and gotten acquainted with my new team mate. Soon I began to understand what is project work. Its about time management, resource management, people management and budget management. In short we make sure our supplier is able to deliver the end product to our customer.

There was barely any thing engineering about what I do. And frankly I was disappointed.

I carried on with my work and lasted till the 3rd year mark. I was keen to complete this big project and leave on a good note. Just prior to that, I was informed that I be transferred to another division at the end of the milestone. It got me thinking. Perhaps I should try out another year in this new role before leaving.

That is to be my current role and I survived in it for 2.5 years now. It became more or less like a maintenance job. But once again, the actual work is done by the maintenance agency. I just managed them.

I had planned to leave in 2009-2010. Sadly it was the same situation out there as it was at my beginning. Jobs were few as the economy was hit by the US bad debts.

However, now I gotten an offer. And I am not looking back no more.

(PS. I din expect this post to sound so seriously boring)

Impulse buy

For the longest time ever, I been searching for a decent skeleton watch. I completely din expect to find it at a factory outlet.

It was to be an unexpected find. I brisked into the Fossil outlet with only mins to spare. We had to meet the flight time and were only given 4 hrs to shop. This includes having our lunch as well.

We know from the start that this would not be enough. There were 160 outlets arranged as boutique shops around a massive land area. I estimate that its 50% larger than Vivo.

We were down to the last 30 mins and we have a few more targeted shops to visit. I walked into Fossil for a quick look. Just to be sure that we din miss out on any gems.

Its then I saw this beauty. A round peg in a square hole. A skeleton body with brown strap. An automatic movement. I knew I fell in love and nothing else in the shop matters.

I asked the staff for a closer look. It had a thick body and it was rather large on my skinny forearm. And despite these, I din need to consider again. I want it.

They placed it in a box and gave me the VAT and I made my purchase. I placed it in my bag and endured the long wait on the flight. Its to be a long wait before I could bring it back and wrap it around my wrist.

Its been 24 hrs and the infatuation has not ceased. And it has barely left my wrist alone.

Honeymoon time

I would be gone for a short short while. Dun you miss me. I am sure you wont but just want to say that.

Anyhow, I be heading to Eastern Europe and all I can say is that I have yet to read up on where I am heading.

And yes I know.... I am procrastinating.

Work anger

I am normally a great person to work with, aside from my prankster nature of cos. I dun go about screaming at people or even raising my voice.

However I think I could no longer just keep being nice to everyone. Its beginning to seems like I am a softie. Someone whom can be pushed around with. I get email and calls from contractors to clients and I am always friendly. They can voice out their problems and I would go as far as solving it for them.

Perhaps its time to draw this line. For time and time again, their "problem" appears no more that they aint keen to work on it, and rather have me do it.

And the best part is, the credit is "shared" while the fault becomes my doing. (I guess this is kinda familiar to us all)

Well I have given up on being nice to everyone. Its time to be a FAIR person. Time to award some screaming to bums and idiots. This would give me back my sanity and of course release some steam.

I wont care if you are twice my age or that you hold a rank 3 times above mine. I would probably give you a heart attack cause perhaps you deserve to move on.

Watch out world. I am going to be screaming at you all.

Aviation Tables

If I have the money, I guess I would love to have this as my table.

It would defintely be one reason I would keep me working.

But well reality tends to smack you in the face. My future home is doomed to be small and confine. Nevertheless, you could always look for inspiration with the Japs designed ideas.



I bet this would keep my kids working hard

(Click on the pics for the links)

Happy Easter in advance

I wont be ard this Easter. The first time for me not to attend the easter season.

So well Heres a early wishes for all

Health is important

Just last week, a close buddy of my told me that he has high cholesterol. He is my age, plump and a big smoker.

This made me think, we are just started into our 30s. Still in the prime of our lives and the health issues have begun to creep in. And guess what this is an indication of more serious issues to come. He may be diabetic and may also have heart problems. (I aint wanting to curse him)

I spoke with another close friend today whom also has high cholesterol. His situation is under control now and is able to cut down on his medication. He remarked that I shouldnt be too surprised, that could be lots more whom has high cholesterol. He only found out his after a routine health check.

This is indeed true. My buddy found out his after a blood test was carried out and that was done becos of a separate health issue. Needless to say, I too may have high cholesterol. I just dont know yet.

I indulge in plenty of rich food. I laughed at thought of salad when I could fill the starter with a lovely piece of meat. I love burgers and love steak even more. And I have not carried out a check on my health for the last 4 years. Its time I do something about it.

With an active lifestyle of running and workout, my excuse to myself is that I do burn of what I eat. I shouldnt be too concern right. After all, I am not one of those who sit at his desk all day and go home to eat and sleep.

But well there are many things we dont really know. Things that doesnt relate to our lifestyle. And these things tend to be hidden quietly away and come out as a mean bully only later on.

As such, I am making an appointment to get myself tested. I hope for a good result as I aint mentally prepare to hear something bad now. I guess we can only hope for the best and sorta prepare for the worst.

Sneezy

Happens to me all the time....

In other news, the Japs have found a way to stop a sneeze. Simply press your upper lip with 2 fingers just prior to a sneeze.

Apparently you would stop the message being send to your nose. Dun ask me why, cos it doesnt work on me.

Wedding experience: Finacial Planning

Honestly I am no big expert on the topic financial planning. My biggest expense til date would have been my wedding banquet. And that is one hefty package. So am I the right person to dish out advise. I guess not.

But I do know enough to keep me afloat and get me by comfortably.

If you do a search, you would find plenty of advises out there. Go look up your financial planner (formerly known as insurance agent). They be happy to share with you on their experience. But ermmm be extremely careful with them. They tend to be vampire in disguise.

Among us all, we would encounter those whom "live for the moment". They spend almost as much as they earned. At times spending money they do not have yet. This is definitely not ideal. You never know when would future money stop coming in and debts would always be there waiting.

Just the day after my wedding, my wife and I sat down in our room to open the ang pao collected. We spent plenty of time stacking similar denomination together and then recounted everything again. We need to be sure that these well wishes are correctly tallied.

Throughout my wedding, I had made payment for the majority of the stuffs. I had insisted to my parents that I would be bearing all costs and they need not help me. A large part of me feels that as a son, I should be bearing all the expenses. I would just want my folks to be part of this event.

I had estimated on the total cost of the wedding. Set aside plenty of savings to be used. And when the day comes to make the final payment, I felt a sense of liberation. To me, I have finally clear this last debt. No longer would I need to keep my spending on hold.

Its worth to note that the cost of the entire event aint cheap. If I had not work for at least 3 years, I wont know how am I going to pull this off. Looking at the ang pao collected, you would imagine that this would go back to my personal bank account.

But we didnt.

We decided beforehand that all these would go into our joint accounts. The well wishes given to us by our family and friends are intended for us to be happily ever after.

We opened 2 accounts in our name. One for our housing commitments and another for our other expenses. I taken time to analyze our big commitment. Its going to be a 30 year loan and we would both need to be working to be able to finance it comfortably.

We decided that we would put in our salary equally to our housing account. The amount we gave should be equal to the monthly loan we have to pay. This would ensure that the original amount inside would be left untouched and form our buffer. I estimated that in the worst case scenario where both of us are jobless, this amount should last us 8 months.

On the other account, it is more relax. It could be known as our lifestyle account. We are free to spend from it without cap and top it up at a fixed amount. This would help pay off for our coming renovation works and furnishing. Later on this account would help settle for our future kids expenses and other misc.

The main concept which I had for these 2 differing accounts, is that there would always be a roof for heads, whereas our lifestyle account could adapt.

The crazy thing about financial planning is that, there is no fixed rule. It gets even crazier that the planning is bounded to adapted to the economy concerns.

the return

Hey world. I am back once more.

Its been sometime since I last wrote anything here. The spaces between do feel a little vacant.

My issues have yet to be fully resolved. Such things just need time to work out and I couldnt rush even if I wanted to.

The only positive light is that, today marks the day where there is certainty. The 'unknown' has been revealed. For this, I am now able to return to this semi-private spot to rant on my thoughts.

So stay tune for more postings. I would seek to be less crappy.

Blogging silence

For reason that would be private to myself. I shall retain blogging silent for a period.

I am unsure on when I would return to blogging. Perhaps you should not wait

Wedding experience: The AD PG part 2

Well there is a little good news.

We have informed him that we are not too pleased with the services and felt he could have done better. He has responded positively and agreed that he would be passing to us ALL the photos taken.

Now there is slight hope that from this giant 1000+ collection we are able to dig out more decent photos to compliment the event.

For me at least, I am happy that he has responded positively. It seem to show that he would work something out decent for us.

But on a separate note I had a conversation with a fellow colleague whom gotten married 2 weeks before mine. She has hired a big name to take the pic and has not seen them yet. Partly she is also concerned about it. After all, the famous PG tends to post selective good pic up on FB and this time round, there was none.

I told her that we have to lower our expectation for AD. Unless our pre-wedding shots which has settings, backgrounds, lighting, etc of our choice, the AD is pretty much WYSIWYG.

We are likely to see cramp photos with plenty of relatives. And interestingly they tend to blink when the shutter is opened. We also have kids running around in the background that simply cant be stopped. Not to forget we have a paparazzi of other "PG" whom crowd out everyone view.

Without any control on how the shots would come out, and also no retake (I only have 1 church march in), everything is pretty much left up to chance.

I hope her photos turned out well. But would like to say this to all, we have to lower our expectation down 2 levels. So long as the Photos captured the memories and presence of my friends and family, I wont complain much more.

Wedding experience: The AD PG

For info AD PG stands for Actual Day Photographer

Now that my wedding has passed, I would like to say that this was one bad experience for me.

During our planning stage, we decided that we would seek out a freelance PG. Someone that is not tagged to our bridal studio as the package that is offered tends to be rather expensive.

On the hindsight, perhaps we should. We had a great time with the pre-wedding shots and our PG was fabulous to work with. The only drawback is that we know that the studio would charge us plenty for the photos taken. And we din want to hacker over this with them once more.

SOOO we decided to look for a standalone PG. There are 2 main options. The freelancers and the big names studio type.

The freelancers are a good bargain. They are generally more affordable as there are plenty of them to choose from. The only drawback is that there are so many of them, we had to screen thru plenty of their past works.

The studios ones are far more professional. They would give a clear breakdown on their pricing and as their reputations are at stake, their services and photos are generally of better quality.

For us, our emphasis was not really on the photos (more on the dinner itself). We also feel that the standards of the freelancers and the studios are rather close. We just have to shop around to find one that is available and of a good standard.

After some weeks of looking and meeting up with them, we were fairly disappointed not being able to employ the service of one of them. We like his photos and most of all, like the idea that he is working part-time for some bridal studio. In fact he is quite a candid person. Someone we had a good time talking to.

We thus expanded our search and arrived at another freelancer. He is quite a confident person whose full time job is selling camera equipment and taking photos is more of a hobby. His pics are rather decent and we settled for him.

A week before the wedding he emailed to ask if he could bring along some assistants. We thought that they are helping him with the setup of the shots and happily agreed.

Then comes the AD

Our PG turns out to be a stealth shooter. He quietly walks about and capture the shots throughout the day. The assistant on the other hand were given the task to handle the formal shots. IE the group photos and the tea ceremony.

This worries me then. We do not know the skill of the assistant and whether they are capable enough to take a proper shot.

Oh and I mean stealth is largely due to him keeping quiet. He didnt direct us and leave us wondering what to do next. Simple stuff like how he would like to compose the shots were not addressed. This resulted in some essential photos (group shots, shots at the church, etc) totally left out.

During the pre-dinner reception, I was pretty curious on what he was doing. We were around to mingle with our guests and strangely he was not around to capture many of that.

And then comes the table shots, he left it to his junior assistant to take it. We were made to smile for about a minute when the young chap took 6 shots and calibrate his equipment in between each. There wasnt a cue given that he was about to pull the trigger. So we just held our poses. (PS. I gotten my cousin to tell him off after 2 tables)

Its now a couple of weeks after our wedding and we received the pic in a form of a DVD. Our fears are now realised. There were photos missing, there were pictures that make no sense (not even artistic sense). Its likely the poorer ones are the work of the assistant no less.

Well to be fair, some of the shots which he has taken are rather good. But we felt that important pictures are not ruined by his assistants.

We have raised a concern to him and he is now looking into it. As he has provided us only a small collection of the photos, we are hoping that with the missing shots returned, we are able to evaluate his work fully.

Thinking about it now, part of me regretted choosing him. I have learned that a hobby could not be translated to professional service. If budget was still an issue, I would have look around for one that is working frequently as a PG.

To be safe on this, someone that you have gotten a good recommendation from. Someone whom is able to show his most recent works. Someone whom is able to hold a good conversation with you (This shows how much he is willing to connect with the guests).

We had taken a leap of faith based on his photos, but were let down by his personal service. This is something we could not have seen.

For you guys reading this, its partly, ok mostly a rant. I would advise getting someone you can trust. As the photos taken are the memories of the events. Something to cherish as the years goes by.

Wedding Montage

Wedding experience: The church part

Having been a Catholic for almost all my life, its natural for me to host my wedding in the church. Of cos, this is a pretty sensitive portion. After all, my Wife (yes Wife now) is not of my religion.

From my personal experience, a good 50% of couples are of mixed religion. Those who are of similar religion, may not be from the same church, cell group, etc. In other words, you may have to give and take on how you want your solemization to be carried out.

Let me discuss abt your solemization first. The first step is to register for it ONLINE. You have between 3 weeks to 3 months to register your wedding date. The earlier the better.

Prior to that you need to find a registered solemizer. Not some dude in an Elvis costume. You would need to book the place for the ceremony too.

For my case, my wedding is to be held in the church. And I learned it thru the hard way that there is no such thing as a church wedding coordinator. I pretty much planned the whole ceremony, decorations, timing, guest list, choir, etc on my own.

My wife is not of my religion and we attended a wedding preparation course. This is known as Engagement Encounter. The main purpose is to ensure that we are ready for marriage life and not just going thru it because the timing is ripe or the feeling is right.

We spent a weekend in an ulu location and worked out on many issues. I am glad we survived it well without needing to quarrel. There are some, whom had fights and left the place wondering if they should go ahead with their plans.

From the bottom of my heart, I would suggest all couples to attend to course. It helps to get you to understand your partner better. There are many things you would not even think of discussing now, and may bite you later. So its good to attend and learn how this course could help you and your partner work out your issues.

PS. I believed you dun even need to be Catholics to go for it.

Once the course is over we are given a cert and met up with our solemizer, Father Loisuea. He is probably past 90 years old and jokingly tells me that he would solemize my wedding provided he is still alive.

Father Loisuea briefed us on the church wedding and its importance. There is 2 options we can take. A full Wedding Mass or a Wedding Service. The differences is that the Service do away with the Eucharistic portion. ie. no blessing of bread and wine, no receiving of holy communion.

I had opted for that as I felt that going through a full mass would not be fair for those non catholics.

Father then gave me service booklets that were prepared by other couples. It was to be a good reference for me. Allowing for me to read through and learned how the whole ceremony flows.

The next part consist of the preparations.

1. Made booklets for my guests (can opt for Powerpoint slides if you want)
2. Source for a choir and organist.
3. Design and decide on the church decorations
4. Find a flower girl and a page boy (no need to be virgins)
5. Choose my readers and the scriptures to read
6. Arrange for rehearsal (VERY important)
7. Appoint a church coordinator

These were to be my biggest headaches and I am glad they kinda fall into place when the day arrived.

I must add that my Church Coordinator, Martin, had played a very big part for helping out. He was the director that ensure everyone carry out their roles well on the actual day.

Jan 15 event

Well this is what was given to me by my Photographer.

For those who missed it, do enjoy

Facial

I was given a facial package by my dear sister. She din want it any more and tot that I could really use something like that. After all, our DNA shows that we have difficult skin that needs some work.

The past couple of months, I been popping down on facial place occasionally. Each time they look at me and recommended me to top up for more treatment. I felt pretty much like I have the face of a monster which needs extensive work.

Recently, I brought my WTB along as well. I figured that since we have to look our best for our wedding day, we should have a good facial treatment.

And sure enough, they are up to the tricks and constantly reminded my WTB that she has facial issues to address. Sure enough, she sign on a package. I foresee she would be coming down with me in the next couple of weeks to get our face treated.

Its quite an interesting feeling no doubt, however I always feel their method of getting clients to sign on for more treatment to be a bad taste.

Oh Well.....

Differences between Chinese and Western moms

I found this a very interesting read. And perhaps there is a little on stereotypes

Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic
success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Other studies indicate that compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams. [...]

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You’re lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they’re not disappointed about how their kids turned out.

Wedding experience: The invites

Its been about a month since I have sent out my invitation. And in this current practise of invitation, you first ask the person whom you are inviting if he/she is available to come. If so, are they coming alone or with partner and if any kids too. THEN you send the invitation card.

Kinda makes the whole RSVP thing irrelevant.

Let me go true this in detail. First you have to know your venue size and the likely total number of guests you be inviting. There are 3 groups for each individual. The family, the friends and the colleagues.

For family, just leave your parents to settle. Less hassle really. For your friends and colleagues you have to do so yourself. Aside from the family group, which is more or less a fixed number. In other words, if you are related to me by blood, you have to attend. No buts.

For family and colleagues, its tougher. Give a rough count on the number of people by groups. For me, the scout friends is about 2 tables and my Secondary friend is just 1.

So from these, you will tally up to find a good estimate for yourself and partner. And then you go shop for a location that is able to accommodate them all.

Now as the wedding approaches, you would have to finalise your numbers. Real names have to put into your list. Its here when you be surprised. Your list might grow a further 10% (worst case scenario).

But that not the worst yet.

When you actually ask your guest if they be coming, you will need to relook once more. Sometimes the guys you be inviting have been staying aboard for years and you dont even know that. Sometimes, your friends are married (without telling you) and they be coming with their 3 kids.

So the number changes once more at this stage. This is the time you put their names down onto the card and mail to them. I had tried to meet up some of my closer friends to pass them their cards personnally. Its a difficult task which I took leave and had to juggle with different timetables to meet as many as I can in a day.

If you are reading this and I happened to post it to you.... Its because I tried to meet up but ermm.... we couldnt find a good time to meet. I really tried.

Oh wait, the surprises doesnt end yet. The guest list will keep evolving till your actual wedding day. I have colleagues who been asked to travel overseas at the last min.

PS. I would strongly suggest you do an excel file of your guest list. You wont be able to keep track who says what, or if you send them an invitation.... To be honest, I miss out on a few guys whom I had informed them about my wedding and absolutely forgotten to do up their cards.

Anyhow, you should still progressively do up your table list. This is the list you group who sit where.

Things to consider

1. Any infant seats? If so, its a 10 + 1
2. Any Vegetarian or Halal? Could be a 10 + 1
3. Try to put friends in the same cliche together
4. Those who really only know you and no one else, just put a noisy friend next to them and hope they click
5. Breaking up a group of 12 into 6-6 and mixing them with other group
6. Put any single guys together any single girls. (Only do so if you have time)

Ok I need to get back to my list. Still have work to do of it

Wedding experience: The suit and the gown

The most fun we had pre-wedding is the photo-taking. We get to play dress up and pose like models in plenty of amusing settings and environment.

There are 2 ways you could go about it. The most common is to go for a package at any of the bridal studios. They would provide you with selection of gowns and suits to choose from, indoor studio for shooting and the giant photo album. The alternative is the ala carte method. You approach a standalone gown maker or the same bridal studio just for the gowns. Your photographer would be separately hired.

There are pro and cons to both. The all in one package saves you plenty of headache and you could bargain for some stuff as the competition is quite stiff. The ala carte allows you to choose a gown you fancy as well as a prestige photographer you want.

Price wise, the package will generally fall between 2K to 4K depending on the number of shots you have. The ala carte would be pricer. Gown rental may be in the region of 1K-2K and the photographer may charge from amateur rates of 2K to 5K for a professional.

So do weight your budget and the amount of headache you want.

We opted for an all in 1 package during a bridal fair. There were like 6-7 studios chasing for our attention. This allows us for a good opportunity to get a better deal. The only issue is that each one of them wont want you to go and you tend to spend an hour at each studio before moving on.

From experience, if you opting for the package, there are 2 main things to look out for. Firstly do check on their varieties of their gowns. If they have 200+ choices and allow for made to measure, you are fairly safe. (PS. Dun bother about asking for suits, we guys aint important here). Secondly, do sample their albums on the style of the photos.

There are some designers whose photoshopping skills is out of this world. You could stand in a crowded road and they make it like "I am legend". You could even be in Nardia if you want. Frankly this is not my style and I prefer something more natural.

After you decided on the studio you like, you must show the least interest in signing for them. Prepare to stand up and walk away like you are in Bangkok MBK. They will surely entice you with package deals that includes plenty of items. The things you need are,

1. Gown (3 sets) Morning, evening, tea dress
2. Bridal makeup
3. Album and number of poses
4. car deco
5. photo frame
6. guy suit

The things you may want to add are

6. suits for your parents
7. small photo album
8. rental of bridal car
9. actual day photographer
10. hand bouquet
11. Pants

During our negotiation, we were offered only 40 poses. We do know that this is too little. Which is why we insisted on upping the poses to 60 without extra charges. They refused of course. We then asked what is the cost for addition poses and after some bargaining we managed to secure a low fixed price for any add ons.

This prove a life saver for us as we choose a total of 80 poses in the end. Imagine the amount I have saved.

PS. I recall there are some studio that added a hidden charge, saying that they need to add a few pages to the album and it will be separately priced. Be wary and ask about everything. Do also make them write down this all in the invoice.

Ok now onto the fun part

We went to choose the gowns and carry out measurements 2 months prior to the shoot. It was a tiring event for my WTB to change each set of gowns. But the time is well spent.

During the phototaking day, we loaded plenty of cold drinks in cooler boxes and arrived at the studio for her make up. The make up takes 2 hours BTW.

The first portion are the studio shots and we brought our props to play along. I brought a gun, hat, glasses, photo frames and tees. You could bring what you like along. The first few shots you would learn how to stand and pose. It aint that easy and I guess models do have it tough.

The second part is the outdoor shoot. We managed to squeeze 3 locations and had a good fun there. The challenging part is that you need to plan the route and pray for good weather.

Oh and, night shots are pretty tough. Without ample lighting, there are plenty of places you cant shoot. My advise is to skip any scenic night shots and choose dusk shots.

Ok I think I written too much today. Now my fingers are tired.